Healthy relationships always mean happiness for a couple. Harmony reigns, the couple understands each other (sometimes even without words), partners treat each other with the proper attention and respect, and you can rely on each other. Your partner’s opinion should not influence your personality and self-esteem. Sometimes, a person does not realize that he is regularly subjected to, for example, emotional abuse. On the other hand, some cooling to each other does not necessarily indicate problems in a relationship – as people spend more time with each other, get used to each other’s company, and should have rest independently from each other.
Our checklist contains eight criteria to help you ensure you are in a healthy relationship or wonder if it’s time to change something.
1. You trust each other
It is about the absence of secrets from each other and trust in decision-making. If both partners put the interests of their couple or family above all the rest, there is no doubt that it will be favorable for everyone no matter what decision everyone makes. If a person in a healthy relationship is offered a job in another country, he will not answer without discussing the situation with a partner. If you are unable to solve anything, or, on the contrary, you are trying to control every little thing – it seems that there are problems with trust.
Elementary trust is also important – in terms of house keys or access to computers. You don’t need to have one Facebook account for two or throw around passwords from iPhones – after all, everyone has the right to privacy. But still, in an atmosphere of trust, you can calmly ask your partner to get something out of your bag or wallet and do not hide your phone in fear that he will see a message on the screen.
2. It is not a problem that you have different interests
You don’t have to be together around the clock and dissolve in each other to be a good couple. It’s great when there are common interests, but this is not the main thing in a relationship. Of course, to spend more time together, you can try to captivate your partner with something that interests you – or, conversely, try to get involved in his favorite activities.
However, it’s perfectly fine if you like different music, different TV shows, and when traveling, you prefer to wallow on the beach while your partner goes to museums or shops – or vice versa. It is much more important to coincide in views on fundamental issues.
3. You can have great times with your friends, even if your partner isn’t next to you
This point complements the previous one: different interests can mean, for example, a different social circle. If you feel happier without a partner next to you, then it’s the ground for a deeper analysis of your relationship.
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But in a healthy relationship, jealousy or suspicion does not arise if someone occasionally spends one evening with their friends, goes on a trip, or is often on business trips. It is one thing to miss each other and an absolutely different thing to be tormented by suspicions that your partner is cheating on you while traveling.
Trust and timely communication are key factors in a healthy relationship. A dead battery can explain a disconnected phone. His enthusiastic conversation with friends can explain the fact that a person does not answer messages. To not worry in vain, it is worth agreeing that you warn each other about delays or changes in plans, and do not disappear silently.
4. Agree on important issues
At the initial stage of a relationship, many are embarrassed to discuss budget, children, religious or ethical values. If one couple wants to have children and, for some reason, he was convinced that the other feels the same, but this was never discussed, a problem will arise when it turns out that the partner is tuned in to the childfree format.
Fundamental issues are best discussed at the beginning of the relationship. The answers will help you understand how to perceive these relationships and whether it is worth starting them. It may sound cynical, but in a marriage where people have absolutely different points of view on basic things, there is a high probability that someone will be unhappy.
5. Resolve conflicts while talking to each other
Once again, communication is very important for a healthy relationship. Not everything is always cloudless. A conflict can arise both for serious reasons and because of the irritation accumulated over trifles. A healthy relationship is not necessarily conflict-free – the problems that have arisen must be discussed, and the conclusions you make help prevent the situation from happening repeatedly.
Here is a nice article on how to make your partner forgive you.
If everyone realizes the value of relationships and wants to continue developing them, then conflicts will be perceived as moments for reflection, discussion, and useful lessons. You should not accumulate grievances to once remember them to each other. Directly explain what you do not like, and decide how you can improve the situation.
6. You have sex always with consent from both partners
A healthy relationship has no place for violence – physical, emotional, financial or sexual. It is not always easy to realize that a relationship is abusive – especially considering the attitude towards “marital duty” and the belief that a man cannot be refused from childhood. However, if you have sex against your will every once in a while, it is worth reflecting on the fact that you are being abused and seek help.
By the way here is the nice research about the perfect timing for your sex in a relationshiop.
However, a woman does not always suffer from violence. It’s fine that partners do not always want each other simultaneously, and they can calmly accept the rejection. If it seems to you that your partner’s interest in sex has decreased, it is better to discuss the situation calmly – but the pressure on him, in this case, will be a manifestation of violence.
7. You laugh together
In a healthy relationship, emotions should be expressed openly. You are pleased to see each other, and the conversation often brings pleasant feelings – this is a good sign. Occasional irritation or fatigue and the desire to be alone are also normal situations that do not poison relationships or friendships globally.
By the way, you can choose a good movie for a date night and enjoy it together.
When, after work, you are not at all attracted to your partner, and each step towards home becomes slower – it’s time to think about the problem. If you are constantly afraid to say something wrong and are used to expecting an inappropriate response, it’s likely that you are emotionally abused.
8. You are not trying to change each other
If a person wants to get rid of a habit or acquire a new one and needs help, most likely he will inform you about this. Attempts to re-educate a partner who did not ask for it usually do not lead to a good result.
We are talking about respect, trust, and communication: a partner is not a “second half,” but an independent person who has the right to his own interests, desires, and habits. After all, the ability to accept the fact that you will have different opinions on something is also a characteristic of a healthy relationship.
Keep these points in mind when you are building relationships with your partner. Be open and honest with your love match, listen to his feelings and emotions, be supportive, and never miss an opportunity to have fun together!