Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy? Psychologists explain the coldness of men after intimacy for several reasons. Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy reddit: firstly, a man can feel guilt based on prejudices and complexes. For example, it may seem to a man that he used a woman for sex in his own goals and a new meeting with her causes him the expectation of pain from her side. Secondly, a man may be disappointed because he expected different behavior from a woman in bed or he was upset because of his failure. Read more about this and other reasons for the apartness of men after intimacy.
Why Guys Need Space After Intimacy?
It would seem that everything is going fine in your relationship… But as soon as it came to intimacy, your man began to move away and show a cold attitude towards you. Remember that the reason may be related not only to you. It is possible to highlight several reasons for such a sharp disregard by a man for a woman after sex.
1. He feels guilty
“You use her body, but you don’t care about her soul,” such thoughts slip through the mind of many men if the first sex happens too early. Women will be surprised at such torments of conscience, but psychologists say, you can be sure that men themselves admitted this. Such a man cannot be persuaded, and the fact that sex was voluntary does not play a role. Guilt makes a man run away from such a woman. If sex happened in the early stages of a relationship, this can be embarrassing for both a woman and a man. The guy may feel guilty for taking advantage of the girl and leaving in an attempt not to offend the chosen one.
2. You let him have too much
The man is a conqueror. Despite the common myth that a man falls in love with a woman only after sex, this is not true. A man is not a creature from another universe, the mechanisms for the appearance of emotional attachment are the same for him as for women. Why men withdraw after intimacy? To a woman who is ready to give a man everything at once, a man loses interest. He will think that he doesn’t need to earn the right to be with you because everything happened without much effort.
3. He is married
Many people lack variety in sex in family life. Unfortunately, before solving the problem, many make the mistake of betrayal. In most cases, men won’t tell to a woman about their marriage to spend the night with her. However, the secrets are coming true.
It could be that he pulls away after intimacy, or returns to you periodically because he is in love with two people and cannot decide who he loves more: his mistress or his wife. Whether the status of a mistress suits a girl is her choice. However, such men leave in 90% of cases.
4. He didn’t like sex with you
If a guy had a lot of sexual relationships in the past, he has a lot of life experience now. Men determine whether they are similar to the chosen one in temperaments, and preferences during sex. After bad sex, they often disappear, and they are difficult to surprise.
A girl can be a queen outwardly, but if sex with her is boring, the relationship will not continue. No need to drive yourself into complexes. You can study literature, take courses and prepare for sex 100%.
5. It’s just a physical attraction to you
One of the reasons why guys become distant after intimacy is that you are unfortunately only physically attracted to them, not emotionally. Men know that women become more attached after sex. Therefore, after intimacy, they disappear so as not to give you hope for a relationship.
For a man to continue to stay close and want to meet again, his spiritual attraction must be as strong as the physical one. No doubt it is known a couple of examples where sex on the first date resulted in a strong relationship. This proves that having intimacy with the man you just met is not the reason for him to disappear. By the way, do you know that according to the statistics, 29% of couples have had sex on a first date? So, it is possible to conclude: the guy will continue to communicate if he sees personal qualities behind the sexuality of the girl.
6. You put pressure on him
After the first sex, the girl wants to understand how this relationship is going to be in the future. If you try to talk about this important issue immediately after intercourse, then the guy may feel pressure, and discomfort, and want to leave. That might be one of the reasons why does he pull away after intimacy.
Usually, girls are consumed by fears and doubts after sex, asking a huge number of questions in men that they want to know the answers to. Such questions can completely change the atmosphere and dynamics of relationships. If he likes you, then the guy will figure it out and come back. Most of the stronger sex prefer to step back and consider perspectives when dealing with something difficult or stressful.
7. If you were a virgin
Especially unpleasant is the moment if the guy left the girl who was a virgin after the first time. It is especially painful for virgin girls to experience the moment when a guy leaves them after sex because this is their first experience, which is especially important in building trust in the sexual sphere.
For this reason, try to understand that such men have existed and will exist, but this negative experience should not be transferred to every member of the stronger sex in the future.
8. You didn’t live up to his expectations
This is not to say that you are not worthy of love, attention, and a serious relationship. In this case, only the subjective opinion of the man takes place. No matter how freedom-loving and independent the representatives of the fair sex are, many of them in the depths of their souls try to find the one with whom they are ready to live life. It is quite understandable (especially when a man is already mature) that everyone has some ideal image in their head, and a list of requirements and expectations is built. If you do not correspond to this to some extent, the man will not strive for further communication. Remember that his whole ideal is only in his head, and this should not affect your self-esteem in any way.
9. You are just entertainment for him
Why he pulls away after intimacy? Many men in search of adventure or from a boring life seek to get to know a lot of girls and have intimacy with them. As a rule, the purpose of all this is not the actual acquaintance and development of further relationships, but banal sex, in most cases. So it is quite understandable that after the “tick” set thanks to you, he will immediately switch to another woman, another “prey”. He is turned on by adrenaline, intrigue, and the spirit of adventure. It is unlikely that this situation will be changed unless he falls in love with you. But if there are no feelings, feel free to let him go and do not try to continue communication, there will be no sense in this.
10. He is afraid to fall in love with you
Why do guys pull away after intimacy? Perhaps, if a man began to move away from you, he is afraid to continue communication, so as not to get bogged down in the abyss of feelings. Many guys are terrified of emotional attachment because they have already “burned themselves”, had a negative experience of previous relationships, suffer from psychological complexes, and for many other reasons. On the other hand, such a situation is also possible that a man does not want to burden himself with relationships, affection, and responsibility. We want to say that a way out of this situation is possible: you must make it clear that you do not claim his freedom. Then a man can be calm, and if he likes you, he may reconsider his attitude towards you. If nothing works and you see that he keeps you at a distance, then, most likely, you need to leave such a man alone.
What to Do When A Man Pulls Away After Intimacy?
If you still encounter such a problem in your relationship, try to take some measures if you still want to maintain a relationship with this man. Here are some tips on what to do if a guy does this to you.
Don’t beat yourself up
First of all, try to understand that you don’t need to wind yourself up. Women may be especially sensitive after intimacy with men. As a result, even innocent things can be interpreted negatively. For example, he may not write to you in the first days after your intimacy, but because you feel too worried and insecure about yourself, you think that the guy left you.
This state makes it difficult to look at situations more calmly and understand that everything is in order. Try to pause communication with him for a couple of days and then get in touch in a light massage.
Remember that this is not your fault
If a man pulls away after intimacy, first of all, stop blaming yourself and realize that this often happens to girls. It’s not at all that you were not experienced enough or not resourceful enough in love affairs. It’s all about him and we have already explained the reasons why a man can behave this way.
Stop talking to him for a while
It is better not to disturb a man during this period. Don’t try to get into his soul, and don’t ask unnecessary questions. It certainly won’t do any good. Just accept that he has to go through it. Do not attract his attention with resentment and reciprocal isolation. Leave him alone with his thoughts and help only if he asks for it.
Final Word
A man quitting after sex is one of the most painful topics for women. Indeed, against the backdrop of pressure from society, many doubts and fears arise. To overcome this feeling, you need to try to work on your personal qualities, which can sincerely hook a guy to communicate with you not only for sex. Maintain self-respect and dignity. Ask yourself: why do I need a person who neglects me? Never be afraid to lose another person, be afraid to lose yourself, your self-esteem, and your self-respect. There are many dating sites where you can find a person and build healthy relationships with him just because you deserve it.
