There is an opinion that love has to be checked somehow. One of the toughest exams is long-distance relationship. Sometimes a man and a woman in a couple have to live in different cities, in a huge distance, to see each other once or twice a month, or even less. Not everyone can stand this challenge. It is an interesting fact that 80% of information lovers receive non-verbally. To put it simply, words are not important for love. It is rather unpleasant fact for those couples who have to endure separation, maintaining a relationship at a distance. Long distance relationships statistics show that almost 95% of the feelings go out after 2-3 years of “distant” relationships.
It is rather disappointing information for those who may decide to start this kind of love affair. Of course, there are rare exceptions when couples continue to exist after 3-4 years of being apart, but such relationships can collapse at any time. This time is very difficult for both. We will tell you how to deal with distance relationship. Love, living many kilometers away, exhausts people strongly. Sometimes you want to feel a strong shoulder next to you. The person whose arms you need in the difficult moments of life is too far away. Familiar, comfortable world falls apart into two halves.
Quarrel in this period is much harder, because there is also a sense of resentment that your love is not near you. And the distance does not allow finding common ground and using the tips to resolve conflicts. In comparison with the usual affairs, when due to frequent meetings, regular communication “eye to eye”, the connection between the couple is getting stronger; the relationship at a distance can not afford such luxury. But is everything so bad? You may wonder why long distance relationships don’t work. We have the answer to your question.
- Here are some possible situations that make relations fail:
- Destruction of communication
People who are far away face a serious lack of face-to-face communication. In our modern age, fortunately, there are many alternatives: phone calls, Skype, text messengers, social media, and other methods that have been invented since pigeons were no longer used. However, if most of your messages are shortened and not regular, you are facing long distance relationship warning signs. If your communication becomes rare and you exchange only a few messages a day, something is going wrong between two of you. Maybe your partner has lost the interest in you and has no wish to continue.
It is a very sad truth. If partners are used to regularly finding each other in their lives, then “less personal” communication can become a real problem, especially as time goes on. If you and your better half are in a relationship at a distance, then your lives are quite different, and some important circumstances prevent you from living in the same city, or at least in one country. In the other case, if the relationship began at a distance, then of course it will be easier to communicate away from each other, because the positive dynamics remains.
In case you met each other on the Internet, this time apart is a great test to see if you really match. At first, it is easy to find common topics. You just start knowing each other, and everything is new and interesting about the partner. When you know about her or his hobbies, interests and political views, communication must become deeper. The key to successful relations is to be interesting to each other even after living 10 years together.
- Dark future
Maybe you have started a relationship as it usually happens, but circumstances, dreams and desires have created a physical distance between you. It is very important for the relationship to strengthen a sense of community, and the relationship should be based on a mutually acceptable sense of stability. However, over time, you can gradually stop feeling the presence of your partner in your life, the same can be felt by him. Then it will lead to a break up. Or maybe you have just met and don’t know each other enough to move to another city.
Despite the feelings that flared up, your lives are still going in parallel. You can’t just sell your house, leave your job and move. Or can you? What if you do that and nothing works in the end? What if he or she moves to your city (or your home)? Will it be a dream come true or a suffocating nightmare? Fancy, that you have met on the Internet, the man lives in New York and you live in Kiev. It is true that such communication cannot last forever; someone must dare for a real change. To move to another city or country, to adapt to a new place, to start a family together – here are obligatory steps in making long distance relationships work.
- Lack of trust
Many relationships end because of a lack of trust (for real or imaginary reasons), and long–distance relationships are generally a minefield in this sense. In fact, you have no chance of finding out if your loved one is cheating on you or not. But remember that being close to each other does not give any guarantees too. A great long distance relationship advice for you – just trust and remember that healthy, loving relationships require a moral compass, ethical grounding, power of will, and devotion to the partner.
Your trust in relationships largely depends on your personality, on your previous experience of romantic encounters, on your model of behavior and naturally on whether you are a jealous person or not. If your other half is very fond of flirting, then you may face real or fictional problems, which is not good for your relationship. Even if your passion may not have anything like this, the fear that he or she may cheat, will lead to the fact that the relationship at a distance can collapse under the weight of suspicions.
- Sense of separation
No one likes to be abandoned, and this feeling is especially strong when one of the partners leaves their second half and goes somewhere for work or study. The weeks and months before leaving are likely to be colored by the upcoming separation. As a result, anxiety and even anger can start to control the couple even before the departure. Some couples even break before the leaving…but maybe it is for the better? Some people react to separation more calmly than others.
For those people who have experienced something like this in their childhood, the feelings that overwhelm them can be unbearable when they face the fact that their romantic partner will have to leave. The situation may also be worsen by the fact that the second person did not have any right to vote when a partner was making a decision to leave, in this case the person may feel powerless to influence the further development of relations. So, long distance relationships can work only if both partners are ready for it and do steps towards each other. Love is a flame that needs careful attention from both sides. If one is burning with passion, while another is stone cold – things won’t definitely work.
- Life goes on
It is an unpredictable x-factor: one morning, a person wakes up and realizes that he or she no longer feels love, or he or she faces a new romantic interest. Career plans and new opportunities in this case are only those factors that just break up something that is already broken from inside. Many long-distance relationships end because the world continues to revolve, but fortunately for those whose relationship ceases to exist, life continues for such people as well. Some relations just don’t have a future for the reasons we cannot explain and understand. Maybe we should call it the Fate…
Still, is everything as negative as it seems at the first sight? Of course not, even in your surrounding there plenty of examples when distance relationship worked well and people have happy families after years of separation. Though, nothing comes easily. Both of you have to invest lots of time, love, care and patience to make your relations work.
How to make a long distance relationship work?
How to keep a relationship at a distance when there are a lot of temptations around – what long distance relationship tips to use? After all, every day is rich in surprises: There may flash a nice man who wants to meet, then falls the opportunity to escape to a party with lots of fun, light-headedness and free, attractive men. “Should I stay home?”, you may ask yourself. Surely not!
Long-distance relationships are no reason to be locked in four walls. But the excess of all kinds of entertainment is also not an option. Look for the golden mean, instead of a party, you can visit the gym or take a walk in the park.
We have prepared useful long distance relationship advice for women
Long distance relationship advice for women
You can always find time to talk. To hear the words of a beloved person is to receive a sedative pill, a healing balm for the aching soul. Phone, Skype, social networks – the modern world is full of opportunities for communication, unless you are on uninhabited island.
As we have already told, try to meet more often. Use every opportunity to do so. Long-distance relationships don’t have to be complicated. Make a schedule of trips, start your own dating traditions (visit your favorite restaurant, walk in the park, or just quiet home gatherings with your favorite movie for both). Organize a trip so you won’t waste a minute of time. Learn how to use a minimum of luggage or leave some of the things at your better half’s place.
“A word warmly said gives comfort even to a cat”, as the saying goes. Most of all in relations we need the feeling of being cared, we need to know that we are not alone. Devote time to your second half. Notice what is new in his look; take interest in his plans and thoughts. If you don’t know much about his hobby, why don’t you spend some time to find out about it? Make him feel loved and cared even through distance.
Do things together
Create something in common! You can share a blog on the Internet. There you can make an online calendar where you would mark your plans. You will always know what your lover is doing, how he lived the day. In the evening be sure to ask how things went and give useful advice. Now you know how to deal with long distance relationship.
It totally depends on you if the romance works or not. Always remember that problems are not created by the life, but by us. Distance does not separate people, as well as the age or race; everything is damaged with our own hands. A little more patience, understanding, creativity, care and humor – then nothing, even the greatest distance will be a distraction between you and your love.