The situation when it is necessary to help a girl to forget her ex is perhaps familiar to many people. This can be a practically impossible task if the unfortunate girlfriend is very suspicious, has strong feelings for the person who has betrayed her, and tends hysteria. So what to do in this case?
Psychology of separation
Girls perceive the news about the break up with a partner very hard. Love suffering deeply wounds the soul. Therefore, at first, a girl will be immune to requests to stop suffering.
In psychology, there are two phases of the break up: protest and submission. At the first stage, a person does not want to believe in what is happening. She hopes that the partner will come back.
Having survived the first period, the girl enters a phase of humility. She realized that he lost her beloved man, and she needs to learn to live without him further. At this stage, you can already help and advise something. The girl will gratefully accept any help from a loved one.
How to help a girl forget her ex-boyfriend?
A girl needs the support of relatives and friends. She should know that there are people who always ready to come to her aid. These ways will help to calm her wounded heart:
- Let her speak. Do not interrupt her and insert relevant comments. It will be possible to discuss the situation when she expresses everything that has accumulated in her soul.
- Show sensitivity and attentiveness. You need to forget about your thoughts and completely switch to the problems of a girl. She must understand that you will not leave her alone with her grief.
- Be ready to provide psychological support both at day and night.
- Focus on the fact that her relationship with a boy was a mistake, and the separation was their logical end.
- Discourage strange ideas. If she wants to get pierced, tattooed, or cut off her gorgeous hair, you need to convince her that such changes are unlikely to improve the situation.
- Isolate her from social networks. The less she visits the page of a former lover, the faster her mental balance will be restored.
You should not teach her during the conversation. She wants to hear words of consolation, but not notations, which spoil the mood even more. It is better not to leave the girl alone. You can invite her to the movies, for a walk, to a cafe or club. She will be distracted and will remember less about her adversities in the new environment.
What words would be appropriate?
Sometimes people do not know how to calm a girl down if a boy leaves her. It is necessary to choose motivating words and phrases that will favorably underline the advantages of the break up.
The following words will help a girl:
- “I can understand because I also found myself in that situation. You should cry if you want, and the world will become colorful again.”
- “The betrayal of a loved one is hard to understand and accept, but it makes women strong and hardens her soul. Believe me, in a few months you will forget him.’
- “We need to gather strength and continue living no matter what. I know that it will be hard, but you can handle it. He has no idea what girl he lost. He will want to return you, but it will be late.”
- “You should not blame yourself for anything, and your boyfriend has done nothing wrong. It just happens in life. Feelings can pass, and people break up. Time is the best medicine. I will always be with you and will definitely help you to cope with all the difficulties.”
Do not say accusatory words abut the man. Negative feedback in his direction hurts the girl herself.
What not to say?
The words should be carefully weighed. For example, you cannot say:
- “Only you are to blame for what happened.” A sharp statement settles the feeling of guilt in the soul. It will be difficult to get rid of it.
- “You will not be able to re-build the same relationship.” The girl will be careful to behave with a new young man. She will be afraid to destroy the new connection, having done something wrong.
- “He will quickly find a new girl. You were too good for him.” The phrase hurts self-esteem. The girl will no longer feel herself the attractive person.
Five films that will make the pain of parting not so strong
Quite often, people, having exhausted all the arguments, have no idea how else they can help a girl to survive the separation. But there is one way that both will like. This way is movies. Talented people have created many films about unhappy love. However, you should pay your attention to this beautiful top five:
- The Holiday. The film shows that there are several types of love on earth. Those who are depressed should watch this.
- The War of the Roses. It is a black comedy, which shows what happens when feelings prevail over common sense.
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It shows that you cannot escape fate. If people are destined to be together, then they will be able to build relationships.
- Atonement. The film is about love, which is not destined to be. It is recommended to watch when you need to cry.
- He’s Just Not That into You. It is a comedy, which forces girls to think about the indifferent behavior of men. Perhaps the girl is just not created for that kind of man, and there is no other reason.
Light films with deep meaning will make the girl take a fresh look at the changes in life. Most likely, she will want to continue living happy life again.
Recommendations of psychologists
When a girl has no idea what to do next, psychologists recommend solving the problem with a pen and a clear paper. To do this, divide the sheet into three columns:
- In the first column, write all the negative sides of parting.
- In the second, write positive sides.
- And in the last one, write plans and dreams.
For example, now there is too much free time in the evenings. Hours can be spent on things that have always been postponed like learning a new language, reading books, fitness, swimming, hobbies, etc. Awareness of this fact will positively affect the psychological state of the girl.