People date, people fall in love and marry…or not? The question “how to decide whether to marry or not?” is truly complicated. For someone it can compete even with the eternal Shakespearian “To be or not to be?” Indeed, why do people marry?
Definitely, they do it not because of keeping the household together or having tasty meals at home, even not because of the regular sex and the continuation of the family name. People create families because they want someone to witness their life whatever it is. They need someone to care them, knowing the smallest details about their personality like what music they like or how much sugar they need in tea. People need someone to warm their hearts. If you take a look at an old bachelor or maid, you will notice that with the course of time their hearts are covering with the ice of deprivation and solitude. They build a wall to hide themselves from the other people. Especially, it relates to unmarried women. All their unused warmth is hidden deep inside.
Well, we have made it clear that people should marry and create families. But here appears another question: “Whom to marry and how to decide whether to marry someone or not?” This issue needs a lot of consideration and the objectives are different for men and women. Let’s start from the women’s perspective.
How do you know whether to marry him?
Even for a woman who is experienced in love it is hard to make a decision. Some women postpone it till the last moment (probably you know the cases when braids ran away from their wedding ceremony).
Crush test from the psychologists:
Close your eyes and ask yourself “Am I ready to see this face next to me in bed every morning till the end of my life?” If the answer is “yes”, then go ahead and choose a wedding dress. If your answer is “no”, then you should not marry at all. It is silly to think that one day your husband will turn into a Prince Charming. If his snoring irritates you at the moment of your dating, things will not get better in time. The golden rule of the relations says that if you cannot cope with something in your partner when dating, then you mustn’t marry him because after the marriage you will be more irritated. As a result, disapproval will grow bigger day by day and lead to a divorce.
How to decide if you should marry someone:
- You really love him for who he is. You are ready to follow him anywhere. Love is a main basement of the marriage.
- You feel comfortable with him. You can always be yourself and you do not feel shy if he sees your tears or sees you without a make-up and in an old t-shirt. Life together is not a bed of roses. It has many rather unpleasant sides like illnesses, depressions, failures. It is really important to accept a person totally and in any condition.
- He takes care of you. Family cannot be compared to dating. When he worries if you had your lunch or not, brings home your favorite sweets, supports you when you are down…well, marry him straight away!
- You are introduced to his family and friends. It shows that you are really an inseparable part of his life.
- He is ready to be a head of the family and carry responsibilities.
- You feel safe with him. You know that he is always by your side.
- You are on the same wave. Your goals coincide, you have similar dreams. Remember that a husband is not only a lover; he is also your life partner. So, it is better if you are like members of one team who are ready to work on your dreams.
If most of the points are true for your relations, we can congratulate you and wish you to “live happily ever after”.
How to decide if you should marry her?
Not only girls feel puzzled when they have to decide whether to marry someone or not. Men also can be full of hesitations and fears. Let’s try to figure out how to know if you should marry someone. Well, you have to marry her if:
- She still looks at you as if you are the hottest guy in the world for no reason.
- She has the same life values as you. For example, both of you want two sons, you think that money is not the main thing, although you work tirelessly and you are going to travel the whole world when you are old.
- She likes to boast about you to her friends, colleagues, in general, to everyone. She does it because she’s really proud of you and sincerely thinks you’re the best guy in her life.
- When you hear your friends complain about their girls, you know how lucky you are. And you think to yourself what an understanding, cute and kind girl she is.
- She believes in you more than you believe in yourself. Somehow she is sure that you can do anything, even if you are really down at the moment. And her faith gradually begins to bear fruit: you start a new ambitious project, win a gold medal or finally, give up smoking. It’s just like magic!
- You feel comfortable planning your future with her. That is, you can book a hotel for a year in advance or, for example, buy tickets for a concert in six months because you are not afraid that until that time you will be a lonely heart again. With this girl, the future seems really bright, so the long-term perspective does not scare you.
- She’s making sacrifices for you, and you’re willing to do the same for her. No, she does not make the whole show of it. She even won’t remind it later because she simply wants to know that you are happy and it is mutual.
- She’s not trying to change you. Let’s be honest: everyone is a weirdo in his own way, and you are not an exception. She knows that before you go to sleep you are like a naughty child, you never put your things in their place, but she can put up with it. Well, nobody’s perfect!
- Your friends are happy for you. They have listened to your stories about “crazy girlfriends” and know how hard it is to meet someone who is really worth it. But now your guys know that you are safe. After she came into your life, you have become a completely happy person.
- You can be absolutely honest with her. You tell her about your worries and anxiety, fears and the wildest dreams, sexual fantasies and “uncomfortable” illnesses because you know: she’ll never laugh or judge you.
- She’s the first person you want to call when something funny or weird happens.
- You want to protect her even when she doesn’t need your protection. You’re not going to let anyone hurt or upset your little girl.
- You say you miss her and you’re not lying.
But the most important advice that can be given to both men and women is the following: listen to your heart, it knows better than all your logic and common sense. Be happy, having made the right choice!