Scientists have found long ago that the communication with friends pleases people more than communication with relatives. Maybe it happens because we choose our friends ourselves, while we have to put up with our relatives. If you add some light flirting to your friendship, it can make the communication process even more enjoyable. Flirting is good precisely because it does not oblige to anything, lifts the mood and is perceived with ease by both parties – men and women. People, who like to flirt with the opposite sex, have higher levels of red blood cells in their blood, which, in its turn, has a beneficial effect on the immune system and health in general.
If there is a mutual attraction between a man and a woman, they communicate not only with words. They use the body language, gestures, looks…True flirting meaning represents itself as a manner of communication to attract attention and interest to each other. Flirting is a natural thing, yet not everyone knows how to flirt properly. At school we are taught many complicated subjects but for some strange reason we are not taught how to deal with the opposite sex. Good flirting is a real art, as it is very easy to cross the line and be seen as a troublesome or even vulgar. That’s why it is very important to learn how to flirt in a right way, otherwise you can get into a confusing situation.
Psychologists say that people flirt for 6 reasons. According to a study, made by Professor David Dryden Henningsen in 2004, there are 6 main motives for flirting:
- Sex: it is aimed at having intimate relations with the person you like.
- Entertainment: sees flirting as a kind of sport.
- Research: a try to find out how it feels to be in a relationship.
- Relations themselves: an attempt to get closer to a person.
- Self-affirmation: a desire to improve their self-esteem, a wish to feel like a heart-breaker.
- Benefits: a desire to get something from another person.
According to the results of the study in a men group, the motive for flirting was mostly sexual in nature, and in a women group it was associated with relationships. That’s why men and women behave differently when they have a flirt dating, as they have different motives for it. Let’s find out how! Speaking about men, we have prepared for ladies 10 signs he is flirting.
10 signs he is flirting with you
- He stares at you. He pays extra attention to the way you are dressed, tell compliments about your appearance, you often feel his eyes on you: it’s obviously flirting.
- He speaks differently. If he changes the tone of his voice, the guy must be flirting. The voice can be hoarse or lower, emphasizing his masculine nature. Most likely, it will sound somewhat artificial, and you will easily recognize flirting.
- He touches you. If a guy “accidentally” touches you or is looking for any excuse to engage in any kind of physical interaction – that’s part of his flirtation.
- He tries to attract attention in every possible way. It is one of the main signs of flirting. If the man often makes fun of you, tries to be with you under any pretext, that’s definitely flirting. He will certainly try to attract your attention in different ways. If a man is competing with other men whom you communicate with, he is clearly interested in you.
- He doubts his appearance. If you notice that a man with you straightens his clothes or hair, be sure that he wants to impress you. The young man is flirting with you, so he wants to show his best side.
- He ignores the phone. If he cuts all calls and doesn’t get distracted by the phone while talking to you, then it’s definitely flirting. He wants to give you all his attention.
- He says that he is lonely. If from time to time he tells you that he has no wish to date with anyone, it is a clear sign that the guy wants to start a relationship with you.
- He tells his friends about you. All his friends know about you and your life. It is true if he is interested. But, unfortunately, you cannot check this fact unless you have common friends.
- He is ready to come to you at the first request. Be it rain or snow, if you call him when you are in need, he will leave all his work and business and rush to you.
- He tells you lots of compliments. If he tells you many nice things, it is more than obvious that he likes you.
That’s why stop asking yourself “what is considered flirting for guys?” . Now you know the answer for sure. But one should remember about the other side of the coin. Jane Austen stated long ago that “Women fancy admiration means more than it does.” Sometimes a girl tends to imagine a man has an interest in her and maybe secretly in love with her. This may lead to embarrassing situations.
How not to confuse men flirting vs being friendly?
Let’s analyze it now!
- He is polite with you…just like with anyone else.There is a joke that being polite is so rare these days that people mix it up with flirting. It is true, sometimes a guy is simply trying to be friendly and polite due to his good upbringing, but you have already fancied marriage and 3 kids.
- He is not searching for the reason to be with you. He sees you only as a friend. If he communicates with you in the same manner like he does with his men friends – you are not in his interests. When a man is attracted to you, his way of talking will be different.
- Distance. If he avoids your glances, turns away from you when you are near, tries to sit away, does not support the conversation, or just keeps a constant distance – he is not interested.
Also, we have prepared a short guidance for men how to find out signs a woman is flirting with you.
- She looks at you when she talks to your friend. Sometimes a woman starts flirting with your friend trying to trap you. She wants you to see her behavior, and she’s doing that more for you than him. It may seem such nonsense for you but not for her. Expecting you to see how your friend got carried away, you might get carried away as well.
- She plays with her hair. This is a relatively simple and well-known feature. Why? Hair, in the hands of a woman, turns into the arms of severe action! When she draws your attention, wraps a lock on her finger, straightens her hair, she is trying to create a sense of mystery.
- She touches you. If you ask yourself “what is flirting behavior similar for men and women?” The answer is touches. If she leans forward and barely touches your shoulder, arm or chest, you have to know: everything is going in the right direction. People like touches. If a guy likes a girl he will try to touch her and vise versa.
- She looks into your eyes or gives you looks. You can feel it when a woman looks at you. She won’t always be able to come up to you and talk, but if she keeps glancing at your direction, you should look at her in response and determine how she behaves.
What does flirting mean for both men and women?
Here are some universal tips about flirting behavior which can be used by men and women:
- Do not forget about “psychological stroking”! For example, the most important method of flirting is the ability to listen. If you learn to delve into the essence of the of the interlocutor’s thoughts, and sincerely listen to his or her judgments, the person will always be interested in communication with you.
- Smile! Smile is contagious! In addition, it will make you more open to communication. The smile illuminates the face and attracts people like a magnet. Try it!
After all, flirting is often seen as a kind of game. It gives you a bit of adrenaline, lightens up the mood and makes you feel attractive. If a woman walks down the street and catches a few interested glances, her day is much better. And it is only one of the flirting examples. We still esteem ourselves by the quantity of attention from the opposite sex. Why?
The reason is simple; we just want to feel attractive and interesting. Even though, men and women flirt for different motives, we all need a bit of light flirting for spicing our relations. Psychologists suggest married couples to flirt with each other if they want to light up their passion again. That’s why stop doubting! Be comfortable to smile to a colleague or to a cute girl in the nearest shop. Don’t worry too much, be flirty!