According to statistics, the first date in 70% of cases is the last. It is not only that the partners aren’t attracted to each other, but that expectations do not always meet reality. For example, a woman imagined a romantic candlelight dinner at an expensive restaurant, and her companion took her to the park for amusement rides or drinking a glass of something in a local pub. Either he dreamed of a beautiful nymph, but instead he met a strict business woman or, worse, a football fan, and so on.
In this article we will discuss how to make the ideal first date, why people sometimes don`t fit each other and what tips you can apply in practice to find a soul mate.
First dates: why they end in failure?
Often, the first date is an acquaintance of two complete strangers who met by chance on social networks, transport, or were even set up by a close friend. Now, when life is spinning at a frantic pace, dating sites are gaining incredible popularity, so often, communication with a potential life partner happens on one of these networks. A lot of people, especially girls, are sure that the 1st date will be fateful and they see themselves engaged as in their dreams. But, often, it is a non-binding, informal communication in neutral territory, for example, in a cafe or a park.
From this meeting, the girl is waiting for something unreal, while the man just wants to appreciate the companionship, to communicate with her and to understand whether to continue communication in the future. Therefore, there are contradictions in expectations, which leads to dissatisfaction with the first meeting by both partners.
Psychologists in this case recommend not building “castles in the sand”, but to treat the event without any special expectations and tune into a pleasant pastime. In this case, it will be easier for you to endure disappointment, as well as to avoid overly exalted plans, if you like the partner.
First date advice: TOP tips for men
We start with the strong half of humanity because, despite all their masculinity and brutality, most men are timid during the first date with their chosen one.
Let’s start with the basics:
- Select a meeting place. First of all, you need to get to know your companion better, and it’s almost impossible to do it at a concert or at a movie. Inviting your date to an expensive restaurant is a bit inappropriate, and such bravado can make a serious dent in your wallet. However a cozy cafe or park on a warm day you can really take advantage of. This being the case though, it is important to notify her in advance where you want to invite her because the girl will carefully select the clothes.
- Gallantry matters. Even if you are a brutal biker or a seasoned athlete, all girls want to be treated like a lady. There is no need for unnecessary pretentiousness, but to open the door in front of her, take her coat or jacket, pull the chair out should be instinctive.
- Be more positive. You don`t need always show your humor and tell jokes, but be in a good mood and smile often is necessary.
- Ability to keep up the conversation. Many girls are nervous during the first meeting, so there may be an awkward pause. Try to come up with new topics for conversation, ask her more, so that she feels like her companion has an interest in her.
- Give compliments. You don’t have to list all her good qualities in front of her, to make a good impression, but a couple of compliments about her appearance and mind should be quite enough so as not to spoil the evening.
- Finish on a high. Not all women accept a kiss on first date. However, if she hints with signs of her body that she is not against closer acquaintance, then you can do it, but to insist on it may be seen as too impulsive.
Do not forget that a call the day after a successful meeting will give you a few extra points!
Dating advice for girls
So, you are going to your first date and want to make a favorable impression; you should pay attention to some details. Let’s start with your look! For some reason, most of the fair sex are firmly convinced that a stunning outfit will surely slay any man. However, outrageous outfits will only scare away, cause confusion or, even worse, your companion’s laughter. You will look especially absurd in outfits with sexual appeal in an amusement park or pizzeria. In addition, some ladies do not discomfort, and not for a pleasant conversation. Therefore, you need to wear comfortable and stylish clothes that correspond to the place where you were invited.
Makeup and perfume selection should also be moderate and appropriate to the event. You don`t need to pour over the whole bottle of French perfume. This does not threaten the conquest of men, and the test of its strength and testing for allergies.
Don’t go on and on about your personal problems. Some girls like to treat the occasion like a counselling session, and dump a heap of their problems on their date. It scares and spoils the meeting! Strive to maintain a dialogue, to show interest in his person. But it is important not to bend over it and not to turn the conversation into an interrogation about man`s own housing, salary and so on.
In addition, you do not need to focus constantly on your children. Of course, it is worth warning him that you have a charming son or a cute daughter, but it is not necessary to show an infinite number of photos, talking about problems in the kindergarten or at school. It may seem that you are looking for a “new” dad, and this frightens off men. Also, it is a reference to past relationships, especially in a negative way.
Do not show your masculinity. Yes, you can be a great athlete, successfully run a business, but you shouldn’t focus on your merits so zealously, demonstrating your superiority. Of course, mentioning your successes in order to make an impression is not forbidden, but if you have already agreed to meet with a man, then let him show his masculinity.
Ideal date ideas: show creativity
Many people think that first dates must be in a bar or a small cafe. Yes, these places are a win-win option, which have been successfully practiced, but sometimes the soul wants something new and interesting. In addition, it is a great way to demonstrate your originality and would be a hit with your prospective date.
So, we offer first date ideas that will surely work:
- Picnic. Beautiful landscapes and relaxed atmosphere will help to establish communication. Moreover, it is not necessary to prepare for such a meeting for a long time, to carefully select a wardrobe. And yet, this is a great way to save money, which is quite important for young people. Take something to eat, a bedspread and go to the city beach or to the park area;
- Workshops. If you are an active person and want to spend time being productive then look at various activities. It could be cooking classes; the joint preparation of food is very intimate according to many psychologists. Additionally, after the process is completed, you can go to a cafe or just walk. This approach will help you to relax and find a common topic for conversation;
- Open-air cinema. If there is such a place in your city, this is a big plus and a great idea. Joint viewing of a film can be a great finale to the meeting, besides, it will relieve an awkward situation in the last rows and you can quietly talk during the showing without disturbing other viewers;
- Festival or fair. Such an event is always charged with positive emotions. In addition, no need to bother about the cultural program;
- Karting. Suitable for lovers of active pastimes. Many girls are not averse to compete and fight for first place in the race, and gentlemen better give up;
- Zoo. Communication with animals always favorably affects people. In addition, there is always a secluded corner where you can socialize and have a snack;
- Ride on a yacht. Suitable for the warm season, if there is a similar service in your city. This is very romantic, especially if your meeting is scheduled for the evening. But you need to carefully plan such an event, because your date may get seasick.
We want to draw your attention to the fact that it is better to be creative if your date is not against such ideas. Not all people love surprises, and a carefully planned event can be a failure if, for example, a girl does not like speed, and she is swayed on the rides. Before you schedule a meeting, you should carefully determine your preferences. Perhaps your companion will want to quietly drink coffee, admiring the sunset on the summer terrace of the cafe, or go bowling or sing a couple of karaoke songs. Never impose your ideas, so as not to cause a negative reaction.
We hope that our tips and ideas will help you plan your first meet dating and find new love!