It is excellent if two married people treat each other with love and respect. And it’s pretty sad if the spouses aren’t happy together. Moreover, a broken marriage can even lead to various diseases. After a few months or years spent in an unhappy marriage, you begin to guess why it happened. In this article, we have 10 signs that your marriage is over.
1. An overabundance of feelings in the first months of a relationship
A bright and emotional beginning can be a harbinger of the subsequent divorce. This is the conclusion of researchers from the University of Texas at Austin. If the level of attraction and affection between spouses undergoes big changes during the first two years of marriage, it is more likely that in the end, everything will end in a break. According to experts, in order to avoid divorce, partners need to talk more with each other and strive to make novelty throughout their life together.
2. Wrong expectations
If you were counting on a daily 24-hour common pastime, luxurious dates and a perpetual period of courtship, you would probably be disappointed because marital life is entirely different from a colorful carnival. In order to better understand whether you can withstand all the blows of fate and save your marriage after weekdays come to replace holidays, you and your partner must fully open up to each other. You should tell everything about your past, family and relationships with relatives, communication and financial problems.
3. Lack of communication
Communication is the foundation of family happiness. As psychologists point out, distance from each other and the inability to discuss problems are the two most common reasons for divorce. Do you talk to your spouse about important topics? Or, maybe, you are limited to superficial conversations, discussing the weather and milk ending in the fridge? When partners do not share problems and experiences, a distance arises, which leads to a break. Moving away from each other, people become less attached, and their feelings weaken. The same thing happens when one spouse talks about himself all the time, without giving the word to his or her other half. One should never forget that fruitful communication is not just expressing one’s opinion. One should be able not only to listen but also to hear another person.
4. Reluctance to spend time together
You do not have to be with your partner all the time. Nevertheless, you should be interested in spending most of your free time with him or her. You should not worry about watching TV shows, surfing the Internet, reading books, staying at work or meeting with friends without your other half. But if all these actions are done to avoid your partner – your marriage is over.
5. A different view on the birth or upbringing of children
Most likely, you have repeatedly discussed the issue of childbirth before marriage, but the opinion on this matter may change in the process of living together. Let’s say at the moment you are not willing to sacrifice a successful career for the sake of the family. Psychologists have repeatedly pointed out that in the past decade couples have been divorcing more and more often due to the inability to have children, the reluctance of one of the partners to become a parent, and different views on parenting. In such cases, partners need to put themselves in each other’s place. But do not try to impose the desire to have children if he or she is totally against it. It is necessary to discuss differences in your views and come to a consensus, respecting each other’s opinions.
6. Trust issues
Problems with trust arise from the inability of the spouses to find a compromise. If you no longer feel safe next to your partner, then you will try to find someone you can trust. Emotional infidelity often arises precisely because of a loss of trust and can be a more painful blow than physical cheating because it is a deeper level of intimacy.
7. Disputes over the same things
Often people blame each other for the same things. Such behavior can cause divorce when rare verbal altercations eventually develop into scandals, mutual insults and accusations. If you do not want to end the relationship, you will have to compromise and make some concessions. Instead of general reproaches, identify a specific problem that bothers you. There is no need to make a scene with the smashing of dishes due to the fact that your partner “is not able to take out the garbage.” It’s better to let him or her know how much easier it would be for you if he or she started doing this.
8. Lack of mutual respect
Constant criticism and attempts to humiliate a partner mean that your marriage will be over soon. When partners lose respect for each other, this is clearly seen in their communication. They stop talking about important things, but all the time they argue over trifles. If you do not respect the person with whom you live, it will be difficult for you to love him. Consider if there was an episode in the past that made you look at your partner differently, try to understand and accept the fact that his values are different from yours, and learn to compromise.
9. Lack of common interests
When the couple has no common interests, the partners try to fill the gap with something. In the best case, it will be a new hobby, and in the worst – a passion for alcohol, drugs, and gambling. Spouse’s support will help to maintain relationships in such a situation. Try to at least partly join the hobby of your spouse and be sure to find out if your new passion is connected with the fact that he or she lacks something in family life.
10. Financial difficulties
When it comes to saving money, the ability of the spouses to jointly resolve issues and share thoughts plays an important role. Perhaps your partner wants to spend more time together, and you would not mind working a little less, but you are concerned about the prosperity of the family. In this case, your partner would easily agree to lead a more modest lifestyle, if it meant that you would become happier, less tense, and you will have more time for your household. Do not be afraid to discuss these points.
Be sure to compare you marriage with our list of 10 signs that show you your marriage is over in order to make right conclusions.